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| 16Days of activism against gender based violence GBV |
Mainstreaming gender and
disability in all organizations in the North West Region
Gender equality
and female empowerment
are core development objectives,
fundamental for the realization of
Human Rights and
key to effective
and sustainable development outcomes.
Unfortunately individuals, organizations
and institutions work with the false assumption
that men, women,
boys and girls
benefit equally from all activities. This has led to the continuous marginalization and
relegation of women
to the background especially those
living with disabilities. Conscious
of the plight
of the Cameroonian
woman especially the most marginalized namely those living with disabilities and
in a desperate
attempt to narrow
the existing gap, I work passionately to mainstream gender and
disability in Program’s initiatives to enhance equal participation and benefit of men, women, girls
and boys living with and without disabilities from all interventions. As the
Gender Officer for
the SEEPD program
we developed the gender policy and action plan to enhance gender mainstreaming
and partnered with
other stakeholders and organizations
involved in women’s empowerment including
the Ministry of
Women’s Empowerment and the Family (MINPROFF NW) to intentionally mainstream
gender and disability
in all activities. Also,
gender disaggregated statistics
are analyzed and conclusions fed into planning and strategies of implementation in
ways that benefit
both men and women
without any socially
related barriers to
access. Awareness raising
campaigns on gender sensitivity have been
organized in Organizations, Churches and cultural associations in
collaboration with positive
role models with
disabilities. Although considerable
progress has been
made in mainstreaming gender and
disability, we’ve encountered challenges
including low self-esteem,
low educational qualifications
for job opportunities, lack of knowledge of existing opportunities, and limited
talent among persons with
disabilities. On the
other hand challenges
with partner organizations
include reluctance to embrace
the concept of disability
and inclusion, lack
of expertise in disability inclusion, limited capacity,
inadequate financial resources, and inaccessible infrastructures. To overcome
these challenges, the SEEPD Program organizes
awareness raising campaigns
on gender and disability sensitivity,
capacity building workshops
on Disability and Inclusive Development, and provides technical support
to partners to enhance disability inclusion.
We hope that gender and disability will be mainstreamed in all
organizations in the North West Region and beyond to ensure
effective participation and
representation of men, women,
boys and girls with and without disabilities in all activities for
sustainability. Integrating gender
in all activities
has led us to acknowledge that
women’s empowerment and
the recognition of women’s rights as human rights are essential for
sustainable development and
can be empowering for everyone,
women and men. The GRID Network
provides an excellent
avenue for considerable discussions on gender and DID,
and makes it possible to redirect
multiple actions after
discussions to achieve objectives.
Story for day 15
Good Health and Sound Mind is Wealth.
My dreams
and aspirations were so high with me becoming a Journalist by profession. But
how it shattered is a mystery am yet to unravel (understand). Yet I learnt that
I must move forward no matter what. But how could I bring together the broken
pieces of my Life? My name is Lilian and this is my story. I grew up to know I
was the only person with high intellectual mindset in my family because I
loved education, I was determined that since my
elder ones were not
embracing education, my case
should be different and ‘it was different indeed’. It all
started when my
father, our lone
bread winner became
distracted and irresponsible
refusing to provide for his family and then finally stopped paying our school fees. In a
family of 6, no one lives to tell a story of sound education. As if
that was not enough,
he got married to another
wife. At this
point all hope
was gone and unfortunately he had no child with the
new wife. I knew becoming a journalist is a dream that will never come true. In
a desperate attempt
to save us
from illiteracy and shame, my mother took over and decided to educate
the three of us
interested in going
to school. Unfortunately, her
marital problem robbed
her of joy,
peace and health.
She started depreciating,
from one illness
to another and then
the unbelievable happened.
She died, leaving us in the middle of the sea, no were to run to.
All hope was gone. Was I ever to become a Journalist again? Deep in me, I knew
that, my father was going to have pity on us and come back. He took ill shortly
after my mother had died, he became deserted. His princes the second wife ran
away and abandoned him with us. In his dreads, tears of aid, guilt and
nervousness, he answered the ancestral call.
I saw darkness in day light as we became complete orphans, no
mother, no father,
no bread winner,
no education, no hope.
I decided to
be cooking food
and selling in the
market while struggling
to complete my high school. It was such a difficult task
but I kept on. Then came a man with “big big” English saying he is a teacher, lured me into having sex with
him. I resisted more than a few times but thought it could be a way out.
Thinking it was the best solution to our problem, I gave in and slept with him and it was here I discovered
he was a cheat and did not want to die alone; he was looking for a victim. He got
me pregnant and worst of all he gave me HIV and then abandoned me. I kept on wondering like a lion in a dry jungle. My tears dried off, my existence was
more of death than living. Fortunately
for me, my rescuer Melvin came
through his organization; he
was just
like an angel. He
assisted me, counselled me, gave me hope to live. I struggled with the pregnancy and gave
birth to
the child without her being infected because of the medical
intervention during ante natal care. This man blocked my dreams, made me
to stop school, got me infected, pregnant,
and rejected me. My pride
of being a happy wife, woman, mother was lost. I was almost mentally
disabled. As if that is not enough, he got another victim in the name of
marriage, infected her also. They never had a child and it was done
to him that he should do
something. He saw me as a queen carrying his only child. He
came back begging
for me to marry him
as a second wife. It was
too late, I had
learnt my lessons the hard
way picked up
my broken pieces
of life together. Though I
could not be
the Journalist I wanted.
I knew I could be a successful woman in another
field. Yes, my past was behind me, Yes
it is never too late to start all over, it worked for me. ‼ I now run a business of
my own, manage my farms with yields that
feed my child and siblings with excess to sell. I also teach in a primary
school in the neighborhood. I took upon myself to challenge many not to dwell
in their past but to fight for the future, to fight against sexual violence, and to know
that living with HIV/AIDS is not
the end of life. Melvin’s comment:
Intervening in Lilian’s
situation has greatly empowered
and encouraged her
and many other fellow young women
with similar problems in and around her community to be
socio economically empowered.
I see myself as
a change maker,
changing her life,
she is changing other
people’s lives and
this is changing everything for a sustainable future.
By: Melvin Songwe and Lilian
Story for day 14
Double-Double
My Christian
name is Danielle, but when my friends started
calling me Double-Double, I
liked the nickname. They called me Double-Double
because I have a disability and I am
also HIV positive.
I say that
Double-Double means that I
have double the
satisfaction with life, and double the friends and fun. I am now 37 years old, and have had my first
disability for 30 years. When I was 7,
my leg was caught under a car, and was seriously damaged. So now I usually
walk with a walking stick or crutches. When I was in my early 20’s, I became HIV positive. So
for the last 15 years or so, I have been
living with HIV and my walking problem
(what we now call a mobility impairment). When I first became HIV positive, almost
no-one in Bamenda
was talking about how
people with disabilities
can become HIV
positive. Even today, there aren’t many who speak out about these
things. I have
so many ideas
and so many
questions when it comes
to disability and HIV/AIDS.
It used to be that we hardly saw people with disabilities
in the AIDS programs, but I have
come to know
so many people who are
now infected that I decided to just speak out about it. I thought,
What can
I lose? It can only
help other people like me. People with disabilities are
just as much at risk of getting the HIV as others, maybe even more so because
of some of our
vulnerabilities. We just
don’t have good information about what the experiences
are. I have heard stories of women
with visual or
hearing impairments who are
positive but afraid to tell even their closest family and friends,
trying to do all they can
to hide their status.
As time goes
on, I am having other impairments from the HIV
and the medications.
Sometimes my legs
hurt toomuch, and I cannot walk
around town – this neuropathy (my leg
pain) is common for people with HIV. Sometimes my eyesight
is blurred. Sometimes
I have fatigue
and diarrhea. I do not let those things stop me. Now,
I am not
shy to tell
people that I
became infected back then
because I was involved with
a man who was HIV positive. Like so many men in this region, he told me
he was
being faithful to
me, and so
we did not
use condoms. I trusted
him so much. But
in fact, he
had at least one other
girlfriend, maybe more, I don’t really know. And he says he doesn’t really know
when he became positive. I loved him and shared much with him – my hopes, my
dreams, my time, my money, my whole life really. The way he deceived me - Would
that be considered the
“gender-based violence” that
everyone seems to be
talking about? I don’t really know. I was very sad when I found out all
about his situation, and I
did feel
violated, but everyone told me it is just “normal” and what I should expect.
But I moved on. I got
stronger. What I do know is
that I am glad
that I can
now speak out,
because it helps
so many others. I am happy that there are programs that help me to have
my voice heard. I have been on the radio and on television sharing my
experience and telling people that HIV can get even people with disabilities. I
get hope and strength from telling my story, and getting support from
people who care about me. And
in turn, I can support others. Double the satisfaction, Double the
hope.
Double-Double,
that’s me.
Story for day 13
It is not the end
I am 44
years now. You cannot believe what I have gone through. Looking at me, I am
strong and healthy, but let me
tell you what happened to me. I
grew up as
a young girl with
all sorts of
ambitions. I went to
primary and secondary
school and then
I even went out of the country
and was working abroad. My family trusted me and was proud of their
offspring. I contracted
malaria at one
moment and felt
like everything was over for me. I went to a nearby local apothecary
and received treatment hoping to get
better. Discharged after two
days, the medication given
to me started producing terrible
symptoms. I had
burns everywhere on me: the palms of my hands, my toes, fallen nails,
and worst of all, I started losing my sight.
I was taken back to Cameroon and it was discovered that I had taken a
wrong medication. I completely recovered from the sores but I had lost my
sight. I had to go back to my village with the conclusion that I had been
completely incapacitated and there was
no way I
could do anything again for the rest of my life. I received all forms of
verbal violence from the
village. Everyone considered
me a witch who had been driven
from everywhere. It was a traumatic experience for me It was
earmarked that I
could be ostracized
from the village on the count of witchcraft. Life to me only meant getting up, basking and begging,
and waiting for any good Samaritan
to give me food
to eat, and
sleeping at night after facing all sorts of odds during
the day.
My life turned around when I attended a
workshop on the participation of persons
with disabilities in the socio economic life of the community
organized by a disability organization.
After this I
discovered I could
also contribute in the life of my community. For example, I participated in
the water project
in the community
by contributing my own quota of the fees that were levied on everyone in
the community. At one moment I went to
church to thank God for my life. I organized a church thanksgiving service
which became a turning point because many people attended. I became a heroine
and people started seeing that I could contribute in one way or the other to
the development of the society.
To make sure
I kept supporting myself and my community,
I decided to
start a small
scale business. I started
selling foodstuff (like
Maggi, salt, matches,
and palm oil). People trusted buying from me because I never cheated
them, and I was always available. I have also started a pig farm with the
support of funding from a disability organization. Now
I am a respected person in the
society, I am consulted
on development issues, and I
support children going to school.
I am even thinking
of joining politics as many are
ready to vote for me in the upcoming elections to represent them in the
council.
By Louis Mbibeh
Seeing
GBV in
the North West Region from a
global context
Have you heard of the AWID Forum? The Association for Women's
Rights in Development or AWID is an international, feminist,
membership organization
committed to achieving
gender equality, sustainable development, and women’s human
rights – including the rights of women
with disabilities. Every 3 or 4 years,
AWID has a forum – and it holds
in a different part of the world each time. Ruth had been to the AWID
forum in Turkey in 2012 and so she had an idea of what to expect. In 2016 it
was held in Brazil, and both of us (Ruth and Commy) were able to go. Such a
privilege and what a thrill! It was an
incredibly exciting time,
and we made
new friends and learned
about what is
happening about women and GBV
around the world. There were
women, feminists, activists from all over the world. There were dedicated
sessions for women with disabilities. It
was not
easy for us
to get to
Brazil, we had days
of travel and much sacrifice, but eventually we made it. Ruth says: I was happy when I learned that
CommyMussa, a well-known Cameroonian
journalist, would also
be attending, and was happy to connect with her in Brazil. I made a detailed presentation
about our issues as women with disabilities in Cameroon, and what we have
learned. Through participating in
this Forum, I
learned about more networks
within the AWID network. I came back to
the North West with more energy and ideas
about how we
can continue to
work together to improve the situation for women and girls
here. I take what I learned and what inspired me and apply it to the NW Women’s Forum. Our activities
in the NW Women’s Forum focus on
helping women and girls to learn how to
protect themselves, and on reducing
the number of children
being born without choice
by PWD. Everything we do
is connected –
it all relates
to improving self-esteem and empowerment for women and
girls.
The AWID
program helped to shape our professional and personal lives. Being part of the
AWID and from the Women with Disabilities platform, has developed my
communication skills and
influenced the way
I interact with others.
I am aware
that certain aspects
of life will translate into
different things for different people. I have become more open-minded and
appreciative. I have become more
involved in community
building initiatives, I have been equipped
with skills of organizing and coordinating,
but most importantly I am amazed
by the power of collaborations
which I have been exposed to by the program.
Now, I am
more of a servant leader. I take
pride in doing meaningful work for my
community without expecting anything
in return. I
am amazed by
how doing good automatically attracts more good into
one’s life. Commy says: I was so
inspired by the photo and story exhibition
I saw at the
AWID Forum about women with
disabilities. I also came back with more energy and ideas, and know
that in the months
to come we will do more together to
advance the rights
of women and girls with disabilities in our region, and to reduce the violence
that they are subject to. The work to
end gender based
violence for people with disabilities continues, and it is
by being connected to global
communities that we
can find the
tools and the strength to continue. Attending this kind of event helps us to
remember that we are not
alone in our
experiences, and that
many others around the world are also working for justice and to reduce gender based violence.
We hope that many more from Cameroon will be present at the next AWID Forum
To read more, go to this link:
https://www.awid.org/awid-international-forum
By Ruth Acheinegeh and
CommyMussa
Story for day 11
Safe Schools: Learning
without fear of violence
In Government
High School Ghotobi,
Mr. Finkeh is a
Maths teacher in Form 5. He has been teaching for 8 years but has
just been transferred
to that school.
He has already been
nick-named “Mr. Ten
Strokes” because he punishes students with at least 10 strokes
for the least crime. Sometimes female
students are asked
to bring a big bunch of traditional broom to his house
as punishment. Mr. Finkeh is aware of
the fact that corporal punishment is forbidden in schools in Cameroon. On
one Friday afternoon, MrFinkeh is
riding home and meets with Glory (16 years). He opted to
carry Glory on his bike to “Cool Down” where many teachers drink after school. Glory
thanked him but refused the offer.
During the next Math class, Mr. Finke who was conscious of the fact that
Glory had a hearing impairment,
explained an easy method of
solving problems in “functions” a topic in Mathematics. This, he did in a
low tune while writing on the
board and Glory, who did not have any hearing aids, was left out. None of her classmates would help
her with the instructions. When Mr.
Finkeh gave the
sequential test, Glory had 7/20. Glory felt she was now in his net. On
her buttocks, Mr. Finkeh gave Glory Ten strokes that have left scares till date
Glory who loved Mathematics so much,
soon developed hatred for
the subject. Each
time it was
the period for Mathematics, Glory
will look for
every excuse to
stay away from the class. The discipline master noticed Glory’s
behaviour towards Maths and Mr. Finkeh and questioned her. With a clear and
strong voice, she revealed the root
cause to the Discipline Master. She was
immediately taken to the school counsellor and a query was sent to “Mr. Ten
Strokes”. Although Glory still
does not want
to attend his
math class, she does so under the watchful eye of the school administrators. She hopes
for the days in the future when she
can return to
learning maths in a
safe environment, and is
determined to get there. As a worker
who advocates for
child protection in the
region, I visit many primary and secondary schools in the region. It is still
common to see teachers beating children mercilessly in schools although there
is a law that forbids corporal punishment in schools.
By Anyangwa
Sylvia
Sandra,
speak out!
Sandra lives
with her aunt. She is 10 and lives in the same house with her male cousin John.
Sandra was attacked by polio when she
was 2
years old which affected
her legs leaving her
with a physical
disability affecting her mobility. She walks with the help of a
stick. Sandra loves school and
goes to school
every day, despite
the taunts that she sometimes
receives from classmates. Her male cousin
is a primary
school teacher and
has made her to
think he cares
about her since
she was rejected by many people
around her. Sometimes the male cousin would
heat water and invite
her for a
bath, in a bathroom
fenced with palm
fronds behind the
house. Over a
few weeks, John moved
from massaging her “bad leg” to
rape. The first time this
happened, John warned her
not to tell anybody
and gave her 3 coins (300frs CFA). It always happened when
the aunt
and other members of
the family were out of the house.
Sandra could not
speak out for fear of
losing the only person who “cared” about her. Each time John had an
opportunity to rape Sandra, he did so.
A youth forum
meeting was organised
in Sandra’s community and an
effort was made to include youths with disabilities. Sandra reluctantly came
for the meeting. One topic was discussed during the meeting: Child
protection. During the
meeting, emphasis was
laid on reporting child abuse
issues. Sandra left the meeting with one thing ringing in her mind- SPEAK OUT!
SPEAK OUT! That night, Sandra couldn’t
sleep. She thought of reporting the issue
to her aunt but
feared that her aunt would
beat her (as
she had done
so in the
past) and announce it in the
whole community to humiliate Sandra. Sandra
thought and cried,
and finally decided
to meet a female counsellor
in her community
very early the
next day. With tears streaming
down her cheeks, she narrated her story. The female counsellor wrote a report
and deposited it at Social Affairs office in her area. When the social
worker from Social
Affairs spoke with Sandra’s aunt, the aunt made attempts to
stop the case to protect the family name but the facts were very clear. Justice
took its course and Mr. John was arrested.
Meanwhile Sandra was given medical attention, counselled, and encouraged
to continue her education. Now, she says when she is older she hopes to be a
social worker to help other children like herself.
Story for
day 9
Boys too
have their stories
Many people
know that Gender-Based Violence includes all
acts perpetrated against women,
men, girls and boys on the basis of their sex which
cause or could cause them physical, sexual, psychological and economic harm. But most
actions to eradicate
Gender Based Violence largely address women and girls’ vulnerabilities.
Women and girls are most
often seen as
victims, and boys
and men are seen as perpetrators because these are the most common situations,
and men’s power
is reinforced by society.
However, we also need
to attend to the
ways in which boys and men are wounded
by violence, and can be targets of gender-based violence. Sidelining male victims can have
negative consequences on the efforts
towards preventing Gender Based
Violence. Such a
one-sided approach casts a
shadow on the
plight of the men
and boys who find it difficult to talk about their predicaments. And it
leaves out men who need to find ways to heal their own wounds and trauma.
One
example in the North West Region is what happens when poor
boys and men get
involved with women. In our
region, for a man to admit being sexually harassed by a woman or for a young
boy to accept being harassed by a “Sugar Mama” is disgraceful. So, many boys and men would not like
to talk about how
they have experienced violence. Talking about the situation of these
males is not to lessen the issue of violence against women and girls at all -
which remains a
major issue in
the North West Region.
Rather it helps us to see the links between poverty, emotional distress,
abuse and violence. During my field work in one of the smaller communities in the
region, I met Gaston, a
14 year old
young man. I met him
in a training workshop with a
youth group on child protection. Gaston was one of the
participants and followed the training closely. A lot was said about sexual abuse faced by girls and how it can be
reported. We did not spend much time on how the issue affects boys. A few weeks later Gaston came to talk with
me in my field office and had this to say: “I went for holidays to live with
my uncle in Bamenda town. While in
Bamenda we had a neighbor who was living alone. From the quality of her house
and the type of her car, it was
obvious that she was very rich. I was
told she had lived in America for many years and had come to settle in
Bamenda. She used to send me to the
market to assist her buy food stuff and also run other errands. Each time I
rendered services to her
she would appreciate
me and give
me some money. I respected her and called her “aunty One day
she invited me
to watch TV
with her and I agreed.
At one point she brought rice,
chicken and juice for me to eat. I can’t remember what
happened after that. What I can
remember is that
I found myself on her bed and it was clear to me that I had
had sex with her. I wanted to scream
but I was
confused on what
people around were going to think and say about me. In
fact, I thought
nobody was going to
believe me. She gave me much
water to drink and told me
she loved me very much.
She even said
I shouldn’t call
her “aunty” anymore. She said I
should rather call her by her name - Estella. I was traumatized and was ashamed to talk
about it to my uncle. I decided to come back
to the village. This trauma hunted me even
in the village,
to the extent
that I was afraid of my female
teachers and other big influential women
around. I have lived with these
feelings, and have never told anybody. I
don’t know where Estella is but I
think other boys around her
are going through
this same abuse. There are surely other women who are
doing this to boys or men and they are ashamed to talk about it. Since you advised us
to report cases
of violence for
our good and that
of the community,
I thought I
should speak out to
you. It took me sometime to decide to talk to you about it.” After listening to Gaston’s story, I
encouraged him to still do some medical
checks which he
did. Thank God
his results were good. Gaston was
also sent to a psychologist who counseled him and he got over the
trauma. He still does not
like to talk about it to people but knows that not
every woman is like Estella. He desires to get married one day. Since then each time I talk about gender or
Gender Based violence, I also pay attention to some of the things boys and men
go through. Many of our boys and men have had invisible wounds
and traumas that
have not been
well dealt with, and
these can lead
to emotional disabilities that are not easily and well
recognized.
By Anyangwa
Sylvia
Story for
day 8
Linda saves her
own life: Tradition
and violence versus Girls’ empowerment.
Linda lives
in a local
community in the
North West Region. She is very
beautiful but has some intellectual disability. She succeeds to graduate from
primary school. During her
early years in
secondary school she
was impregnated by one of her teachers. She abandoned school because
of stigma. Her
parents and community members do not see the need of
pursuing the author of the
pregnancy. They are
happy that their
daughter is productive.
After 2
years at home taking care of her baby boy, Linda decides to go back
to school. One afternoon, on her
way back from school two men from another community meet her and forced a
traditional bracelet meant for queens on her hand. She is surprised but was
made to know that she had been made
the 9th wife
of a Fon.
Her dreams of becoming a trained seamstress are
shattered. Informed about this new development, her parents start celebrating and warn her not to
resist going to her new home
because according to their tradition, when the Fon has chosen a girl for a
wife, it is a taboo to dare to refuse. She
is compelled to
succumb and moves
to the palace with
her baby boy. For
2 years she
bears the trauma
of sleeping with an old man and having maids that can be of her grandmother’s
age. Once she met a male
classmate from her
younger days, and simply stopped
to greet him. Her husband heard about
this, got her
well beaten, and
did not spare
the young man. It is worth noting that each time Linda refuses to
go to bed with the Fon
for one reason or the other, she will be beaten and red lines
visibly seen all over her body.
While on
field visit, we met
Linda and she
told us her story
and the fact
that she couldn’t
bear the pains
any longer. She was directed to the Social Affairs office where she
unveiled her story. While her file was being processed she received
counselling from the
social workers. According to
Linda, her life was at stake as she confessed. “If I continue to live with that
old wicked man, he will surely kill me”.
Linda made up her mind and
escaped from the palace one early morning. On her way to her parents’ home, she
made a stop at the Social Affairs office and was informed that
her file was
being processed for
onward transmission to the state council. This resulted in her living in
her own home after legal interventions. Linda is now in her own home with no
traditional bracelet on her hand. Her parents have finally accepted her. She
has completed her training in
tailoring and is about to open her own workshop. She is healthier
and full of life.
By Anyangwa
Sylvia
Story for
day 7
Disability +
Gender Based Violence = Multiple disabilities
In a rural
community in the North West Region, Aisatou (14 years
girl) is living with multiple disabilities. She was born an albino, with visual
and hearing impairment. She lives with her extended family in a
compound with many people. Aisatou suffered Gender Based Violence in her community.
She was accused of theft very often in school and at home because she was the
only person who hardly went out with others to play. Men in the community, and sometimes
even community leaders, would come and rape her and her family would not defend
her. When she complained the response was "Who can come to carry a curse
from you? Do you consider yourself a valuable woman?” Aisatou
felt very lonely,
and most of the
time was sad and confused.
She became
pregnant and gave birth through cesarean section. Believe me, that it was a
scene for spectators and passers-by
as she could
breast feed the
baby only with assistance.
Her family also helped her to bathe
the baby. You can understand the degree of her disability. At 15
years, she
continues to experience abuse at the hands of her family but takes pride in
her baby. She is determined to be the best mother for her child. Aisatou has
been identified as a vulnerable
girl and a psychosocial assistance plan has been
developed to give her and her
baby girl a
bright future. This
is within a Socio-Economic Empowerment project in her
area. She is strong and responding
well to
the positive attention she is
receiving. She is young, and much is possible in the years to come.
By Gladys Ekie
Story
for day 6
The missing role of the
judiciary in fighting against GBV
Tatiana,
aged 16 years old, lived with a
cousin in Douala for 4 years. Tatiana
was a pleasant girl, who did all she could to help in the house as she was
asked. Although she had a clubfoot, and was not able to run as other children,
she was very hard-working and learned quickly. She was not able to go to school
because of the work in the house. Despite her efforts to please the people in the house, she suffered from domestic,
sexual, and motional violence. She
could not bear
the pains any
longer because each time she cried out in the house, the
mother of the home ignored her and never
took her seriously. With all these pains, she decided to run back to the
father in Bamenda for refuge. Little Tatiana, being with her father for some
months, felt more secure.
Unfortunately, the ordeal
of the past
continued, where she felt all
frustration on her. This violence began all over and the result was early
pregnancy. Tatiana had a
baby girl but was
stigmatized by friends and even close family members. Once
she was beaten and thrown out of
home with her baby
to go and meet
the father of the child. Thank God, she found a neighbor who took her
back home, begged
her parents, and
informed her of social services.
With the help of 2 social workers from the
Divisional Delegation of
Social Affairs, Tatiana was
able to accept
her situation and
open a “call
box”. After some time, she found a husband who cared for her, and now
she is happily married. But given
the inconsistencies in
the judiciary system
of the country, the case had a fruitless end despite the charges levied,
imagine how frustrated
one becomes to know that these perpetrators are still in
the region. However we are glad that Tatiana keeps moving on with more hopes.
Despite all the challenges, we can still make it.
Story for
day 5
Patience and
her Guardian Angels
I remember
one of the first visits
I had to a home with a Community Based
Rehabilitation (CBR) worker
in the North West Region many
years ago. He took me to a small village, and then to a small house. Once we
were inside, I was introduced to a woman
I will call Patience, who was probably
in her late 20’s, and her mother,
who I will call Hope. Hope welcomed us in, and apologized that she had no food
to share with
us. She explained
to me that Patience
had both mobility and
sensory disabilities, and could not see or speak well. Hope was
a farmer who, like many women in
this area, had to walk a long distance every day to get to her farm. Hope
left Patience in
the house when
she went to the
farm. Hope’s husband had either died or left long ago – it was not clear. Some of
the men in
the area knew that
Patience was home alone
during the day. Patience had been
raped several times. Her
mother described how Patience
seemed to be
more agitated on some
days when she
came back from
the farm, and on those days, Hope knew what had happened.
At the
time that we were meeting
Patience, she had just given birth to a healthy baby girl. The new grandmother was
now taking care of the baby as if it was her own child. She bundled
her on her
back and took
her to the
farm when she went. She loved and cared for her. This little family was
very poor, and it broke our hearts to see how they were struggling to survive
and get through each day. But somehow, Hope was doing it – she maintained
food in the house and love in her heart. In the short time I was there, I came
to see her determination and her fierce
love for her
daughter and her granddaughter, despite her fatigue. The
baby was, at least at the time of our visit, thriving.
Hope had
female friends and
neighbours who were coming by the house more during the day
to check in on Patience. They too were
poor, but they realized that they could
stop by and
play a type
of guardian role
for Patience. They did not have any regular pattern of when they would
come, and word soon spread that it was
no longer safe for men to visit Patience because the aunties could drop in at
any moment. I don’t know what happened to Patience or her mother, or her baby.
But I often think of Hope, and how she became
a grandmother. I
think of her
powerful determination to keep going, to farm, and to find friendship
and care despite the odds.
From the
work that we
have done over
the years, we know
that this is
not a unique
situation. Unfortunately, women are
still being kept
at home in
vulnerable situations. But we also know that more and more mothers are finding
their strength to
speak up on behalf of their daughters
and granddaughters who can’t speak for themselves, just as Hope spoke up for
Patience, and asked for help.
More and
more community workers are becoming aware of these kinds of vulnerable situations,
and working with communities to change
attitudes. Where ever
Hope, Patience, and that little girl are now, I hope they are doing better.
I wish they knew how much meeting them affected my understanding of the
resilience of women in the NWR, and that they still give me courage for
creating change all these many years later.
By Lynn Cockburn
****************************************************************************
Story
for day 4
Helen’s
hands
I am a
woman with disability today because my husband died. Before he died, he shared
his property among us. I
was
the last of his five wives. Two years after his death, my stepson,
the child of the second wife, a 37
year old
man
left Sangmalima, a small town in the Center region of Cameroon, and
came to my village, in the North West
Region.
As he came back, he came to my
compound and compelled me to be his wife or
else ‘I will kill you and your children.’ After
he said that, he was doing all possible things to have
a sexual relationship with me. I
refused
the first day and ran to the
palace and complained to the Fon. When the
Fon called him to the
palace
and asked him, he refused and said he did not do anything like
that. Then the Fon said to him,
‘We know
she’s
your father’s wife but you don’t have to force her to be a wife because you
don’t force a woman to be a wife.’
But he
did not obey the Fon and kept coming after me. I went back to
complain to the Fon. The Fon said I should
go to
the police station and give a complaint to the police. Even though
I took the complaint to the police,
he kept coming after me. He set my farm on fire to burn
me and my children. The police came and saw everything
After
this he continued his evil schemes and one day he hid himself on a
tree and watched my children leaving for
school.
I was alone at home. He jumped down
from the tree into the house and told me, ‘since
you refused to be my wife and you have exposed
me, I will cut your head and put in my bag’. He had a
machete, dagger, and a bag. ‘If I am able to
kill you, I will be able to
kill all your children and own everything my father gave
you.’ As he was speaking to me, he was cutting me at the
same time. Because I was protecting my neck
from the machete, that’s how I got injuries
on my hands.” “He was cutting me. Nobody was around to
help me. When I fell down and
unconscious and bleeding, he thought I was
dead. He left. When I gained consciousness, I was lucky to find myself among
people.” “The police came and took me to the health center. They stitched
me to stop the bleeding. They
believed if they didn’t stitch me, I would die. After
that, they transferred me to the People’s
Clinic Ngomngham where I received proper medical care. I
stayed at the hospital for three to four months. .”
When we talked the bones were still not yet healed and she
still had to have bandages on her arms. “What happened to the stepson?” I asked
her. “He’s now in prison at up Station. But his family is against me and thinks
I’m lying.” Helen temporarily lives in a home given to her at the
out skirts of a town in the North West Region of Cameroon. She has
ten children (her own children and grandchildren)
with her. She still lives with the effect of the violence but they are
surviving and thriving.
By Rachel Chaikoff and Helen
*********************************************************************
Story
for Day 3
Bih’s Story: Embroidering a beautiful
life
Some
people believe that the situation of
women with disabilities is really different from others
because how a woman lives is framed by her community and her family. A woman
with a disability is not alone in this world, yet people
often do not really support her. Many people still believe that if
a woman who is living with a disability is raped she should consider
it as a gift. It does not matter the kind of disability. They say she
should not complain, because no man would want to get
married to her, and she should just accept.
With these myths and beliefs around,
women with disabilities have so many
stories. Here is one more, as it was told to me: Bih is a woman with a
physical disability. She is 35 years old. Because she was not allowed to go to
school, she did not know how to read and
write and neither could she skillfully do a
trade. Her family usually just made her to stay at home and
take care of household chores while her siblings
were sent to school. She recounts that
while performing her household tasks, she noticed a boy who
passed around their house every other day but she had no idea where he
came from and where he was going to. He just always passed by and talked
with her. After sometime, this same boy
came to the house when no one was home, and forced her to
have sex with him. He did this many times. Bih on her part did inform her
family of the occurrences but nobody listened nor considered
it serious. After five months her family took her to the hospital
and discovered she was pregnant. She eventually had a baby, and raised her child
with no support from the boy. A few years later, another boy got
Bih pregnant and ran away from the emerging
responsibilities, thus giving her the daunting task of
raising two children with no means of livelihood. Confronted with
this situation, and without consultation with Bih, her family took
a decision to stop her from getting another baby by consulting with
a doctor who arranged it. Determined to do her
best to raise her children, Bih eventually,
learned how to read and write and acquired
vocational training. She learned how to run a small business. Now she is doing
hand embroidering. Like other business people, Bih is able to manage the
challenges that come with business while raising her children. She provides for
their education and their basic needs. She buys food, and
does all she can to give them
everything they need. She finds joy and strength from
her children, and from the other women she knows.
By
Ruth Acheinegeh
Story
for Day 2
I knew
the choice to speak out would be Agnes’s alone. My colleague Agnes was drowning
in depression. At 32, she had been trapped into
a forced marriage for close to a decade.
She met her husband when he arrived
in her village one day for temporary
work. Soon after, he invited her to visit him in the city. At the
time, Agnes was exhausted by the pressure to marry and believed
this invitation would answer her prayers for a husband to save her family
from shame. There were no marriages among Agnes’s siblings and no in-laws, the
pride of most homes.
Like
many young, industrious women, Agnes was pressured to marry
and compelled to stay in her marriage
to a heartless man to preserve ‘family
dignity’. Her story is part of a larger problem of forced marriage in
Cameroon—an issue that especially affects our country’s
youth. UNICEF reports that more than 1 out
of 3 girls in Cameroon are married before they turn 18.
Agnes suffered domestic and sexual violence
at the hands of her new husband. Like many women in her situation,
her outcries fell on deaf ears. Family
members blocked her attempts to walk away from her woes. They believed leaving
the ‘marital home’ is a taboo. “No one leaves
their marriage no matter what. It can’t
happen in our family,” they claimed.
This lack of support compelled Agnes and her two children to stay
in an abusive home. I have witnessed
women like Agnes die in silence, while their stories remain untold.
I told myself I would not watch
my fellow sister die. But what could I do to help her? I tried to let
myself into her world of trauma and pain, but she would not confide in anyone,
not even me. I persisted, knowing just how
calamitous Agnes’s destiny was. But my attempts to get her to speak out
looked like throwing water on a
duck’s back. She appeared to have given
up on her life. Neighbors pleaded with
me to help if I could, adding
to my burning determination. I went to the organization where Agnes works
and advised them to refer her for psycho social counseling. I
tried everything I could think of, but I knew the choice to
speak out would be Agnes’s alone. As cumbersome
administrative procedures delayed the much-needed intervention in
Agnes’s case, I watched her deteriorate. Her husband continued verbally
and physically assaulting her. Whenever I saw
her, she was shivering, she could barely walk, and she was
no longer oriented in her speech. I invited
her to my house, where I challenged
her to either speak out or die in
silence. That day, she opened up to me, recounting her
ordeal: “I am a married widow… I am not even
married. My ‘husband’ has not paid my bride price and does not care
for me as a wife. He knows I will soon
die and does not want to bury me in their family compound as
tradition demands. He says this will
mar his chances of remarrying soon after I’m gone. "We’ve been
‘married’ for 9 years and it’s been
all years of pain. I wonder if other marriages are like mine. He is
a drunk and a smoker. He had
been married twice before but two of his
wives before me died. He has children everywhere and
imposes them on me.” She paused, as tears ran down her cheek. “I
didn’t even know he was HIV positive until
I was pregnant with my first child. Every month, he seizes all my salary
and leaves me with nothing because he thinks I’ll send
money to my parents. "I’m dying but he’s vowed not to use any
money on me. He tells me outright that his wish is for me to die soon so he can
remarry. He insists I bear children
for him but my CD4 count is so low
and I fear I may die in the process.
He is also HIV positive and has refused to take drugs. He doesn’t believe AIDS
is real. He rapes me always and when I cry
he tells me it’s satisfying when women cry during sex. I hate
sex, I hate him, I hate marriage, and I regret ever knowing him. I
attempted several times to leave him but
my family insists I must stay in the marriage. "To my
family, people know that I’m married and I
must stay in the marriage even if that will cost me my life. One
time when I took ill, I pleaded with him to assist me to
the toilet but he blatantly refused, cursing me to die so he can
get another wife. I crept to the toilet like a baby. Please, help me! I’m
now HIV positive and I don’t want to die!” Agnes’s story sunk deep into
my heart. I went to her husband to ask
about his plan for his wife’s
treatment.“Let her die,” he said. “She’ll
be buried in their home, not ours. I can’t spend a dime on her. She
claims she is wise but I’m wiser. I have bought a farm in the
Southwest Region and I’ll abandon her
to die here while I go start a new life. Madam, don’t waste your
time!” His words fell on me like
a bomb. However, I was unstoppable in my
fight for the vindication of this fellow sister. I rallied Agnes’s
family members. Once more, I went to the organization she
works for. This time, a delegation was
dispatched to her house and she was
immediately taken to the hospital. Her husband was given stern words of
caution. Agnes’s organization transferred her to a different city to work
far away from this man who treated her with
disdain. With her employer’s support she is
starting a fresh beginning. She now manages her own finances without bullying.
She’s even able to save for the rainy days through
a micro finance institution. She is alive. She is an
overcome. Each day she celebrates her health and success Agnes has renewed my
passion to work toward the emancipation of women and girls
who are losing their pride and voices to
oppressive systems. My motto is, “Free my sisters from
bondage.” Let’s shout this loud until all
our sisters are freed.
By
Mbuli Clodine
Story
for Day 1
Finding
my way: I couldn’t see, I didn’t know where I was I have never been
this touched; listening to Beri speak about her life I
changed my perspective of viewing women with
disability.
Listen
to her story:
This
is a young and beautiful lady in a small village in the region. Living
with visual impairment from birth, she is
also
an orphan as she lost her mother (the
only parent she had) when she was about 14 years old. She struggled
to
care for herself with very little
success especially because of negative attitudes
towards her. “Witch” is
What
they would often call her. In fact, people
believed she had killed her parents. Beri found solace in church
and
believed one day she was going to see again. Many people admired her
because she was kind, cheerful, and
loving.
However, many more people kept saying she had killed her parents. She often
felt sad and confused about
how
they could say this about her. One day as she
was coming back from her prayer sessions,
about 10 pm, something happened that was
going to change her life. She heard
a group of boys murmuring from the
nearby bushes. She could get the scent of smoke
meaning these boys were taking Indian hemp (marijuana). She kept moving
ahead with her cane till she had a knock on her head. Let me continue the
story in her own voice:
“I
felt someone grab my waist and another held my legs and they
carried me into a bush. I could not shout as they
blocked
my mouth. They kept threatening to kill me if I
shouted. Since I could not see, there
was no way to
identify
them. They took away my very much cherished
virginity. I did not know who did it
because they were
many.
I was dragged back to the road
and left by the roadside. I heard someone walk pass again and
I shouted.
Please
help, please help. I can’t see, I don’t know where I am”
When
she told me this story, tears ran down from her eyes, and we had to wait a bit
for her to regain her breath.
Then
she continued her story: “A man again came by. Listening to me, he took me
straight to hospital and offered to pay for all my tests. Thank
God, I had been afraid I already
contracted HIV. This was not the case. So I was determined more than ever
before to succeed in life despite the loss of my virginity
and all the violence on me. I started a small
business selling sweets and biscuits along the
road. In two years I became a very popular seller making at least
30 to 40 thousand francs a month from
my sales. Someone advised me to go to school. I
made my way to study in a government school,
where I met other students with visual
impairment. By then I was getting older. I became one of the
best students in the GCE Advanced level. I am very sure I will move higher and
as of now, I am really satisfied. I thank God for protecting
me and for giving me the strength to move ahead. I believe everyone can
succeed only if we are determined and honest in our dealings.” This is how she
ended her story. I was speechless, looking at the young
lady and the enthusiasm in her. Her story
motivated me and I reminded myself
that my own challenges were nothing
compared to what she had passed through.
So I picked up courage and I am
also determined even now not only to
fight against gender based violence, but
also to forge ahead in all forms of
discrimination against women.
By
Louis Mbibeh
The GRID
Network Gender and
Disability
Inclusive
Development Group The Gender and DID
group consists of people in the North West Region who are collaborating together
as part of their professional development
work to address
the gender based violence
experienced by women and
girls living with disabilities. The vision to create the GRID Network came
from prior activities
including the Best Practice Project spearheaded by a team
led by the SEEPD Program of the
Cameroon Baptist Convention
Health Services (CBCHS). For the
GRID Network, the intention was
to create a Community of Practice
(CoP) that would bring together
professionals interested in different themes
related to disability
inclusive development and rehabilitation. After creating several other GRID Network
groups, there was continuous demand
for a group
that would discuss women and
girls with disabilities.
This focus was
still limited given the sustainable development goals and the twist in disability inclusive
development. We confirmed that the theme
would include gender
and disability inclusive
development. We think this group is unique in the North West Region in that
while many initiatives are focusing on gender we believe that
women with disabilities
have been kept aside;
so with this
group, we are
focusing more on empowerment and
inclusion of women
and girls with disabilities in
mainstream development activities.
The GRID group discussions are very
interesting, focusing on sharing
knowledge for professional development, reading for empowerment,
and intervening in
given situations when members
discover cases of abuse in one way or the other. The
group also focuses
on the UN
sustainable development goals. Many more people are becoming interested
in joining the group and we are
thinking of a
strategic direction by 2018
in order to
restructure the group.
Due to limited funding we cannot accommodate more
than 10 members. But given the interest that is being expressed we want to be
responsive to the community. The 12
members who come from different organizations are so
passionate about the subject
matter. We are proud
to note that the
Regional Delegate for Women’s
Empowerment and the Family is a member of
the group as well
as the Divisional Delegate for Mezam
(of the same
ministry). Their prompt
and thoughtful contributions have given the group the boost it deserves and
younger professionals are
learning just so much from them.
Second
meeting of GRID Gender and Disability Inclusive Development Group
By Sylvia
Anyangwa and Louis Mbibeh
An overview of
North West Region
of Cameroon
The Northwest
Region, of Cameroon is
found in the western highlands of Cameroon. It is
one of the most
populated regions in
Cameroon. It has one major metropolitan city,
Bamenda with several other
smaller towns. In 2001, according to the Statistical Regional Services
of the North-West
Region, the population of the
Region is young, with over 62% of its residents
being less than
20 years old.
Therefore, the dependency rate in
the Region is high, particularly in the rural areas. The Northwest Region has
many ethnic groups, including immigrants from other regions and countries. The
native population comprises a variety of ethnic and linguistic groups. In the
Region, the social organization recognizes a chief as
its head, also
called the Fon.
The Fons, who in their tribal area may be more influential than the official administrative authorities,
have to get
married to as many girls as possible even against their wish. The girls and women from
this touristic region are exposed to all forms of gender based violence,
because their decision-making power is
quite minimal and
they have limited bargaining power
because of the
patriarchal society in which violence against women and children
fits as a tolerated cultural practice.
Though there is still much to be
done, the government
and the civil
society, have contributed to
a considerable improvement
in the perception of women,
resulting in a greater respect for their rights.
INTRODUCTION
Interview with the
SEEPD Program Director
Prof. Tih
Pius Muffi
1.
Overview of the SEEPD Program
The Socio
Economic Empowerment of
Persons with Disabilities
(SEEPD) is a disability inclusive development program implemented
by the Cameroon
Baptist Convention Health Services (CBCHS) in partnership with CBM and
AUSAID. It has
as goal to
contribute to development through
breaking the vicious cycle of disability
and poverty. The
Program’s comprehensive activities
reach out to a population of about 2 million people in the Northwest Region of
Cameroon and provide a wide range of services to persons with disabilities,
their families and communities
in the areas
of medical and rehabilitation services,
education for children
with disabilities, livelihood,
social inclusion and research. The program’s purpose
has evolved from
socially and economically empowering
persons with disabilities (2009 to
2011) through enabling
persons with disabilities exploit
their full potential in inclusive settings (2012 to
2014) to enabling
development actors mainstream disability
in their mandate (2015
to 2018). The GRID Network is a Community of Practice project of the SEEPD
Program which focuses
on collaborative learning and
professional development.
2. Gender and Disability Mainstreaming
SEEPD
acknowledges that women, men, girls and boys with disabilities
all have the
same rights by
virtue of being human.
Understanding how disability and gender intersect is key to identifying and
dismantling root causes of discrimination for women, men, girls and boys with disabilities. The
journey for both
movements, gender equality and
disability, has faced and continues to face many of
the same obstacles.
Both women and
persons with disabilities face challenges to exercising control over their own
lives. They face
prejudice and discrimination across many areas of their
lives with lower participation rates in development initiatives,
therefore having fewer benefits from interventions. The SEEPD
Program ensures sustainable equity for men and women with disabilities to
access and benefit from available services.
3. Gender and Disability
Inclusive Development
Community of
Practice TheGender and DID CoP brings together professionals involved in the
empowerment of women, men, girls and boys with and without disabilities and
uses Social Media (WhatsApp mainly) as a platform for knowledge and experience sharing on development and practices which facilitate
the equal participation of women and men with disabilities in mainstream
development efforts within the Northwest Region of Cameroon. This is done
through the documentation of case studies, success stories, emerging practices, SOPs
and models for the
inclusion of women and men with
disabilities in development.
4. CBCHS’ Position on
Gender Based Violence Based on her
Christian values and
development paradigm, the CBC Health Services upholds and promotes human
rights with even greater attention on the rights of women, children
and persons with
disabilities.
Gender-based violence
is not only
one of the
most pervasive Human Rights
violations, it also jeopardizes development efforts. Culturally-justified violence
against women and all
its manifestations cannot
be condoned or
tolerated, henever and wherever
they occur. CBCHS
strongly condemns the violation
of the
rights of women and girls because of their sex, vulnerability or/and
disability.
Interviewed
by Fru Rita Ngum and Mbuli CLodine
PREFACE
Groups for
Rehabilitation and Inclusive Development
Building Communities of Practice for Rehabilitation and Inclusive Development
North West Region of Cameroon The GRID Gender and Disability Inclusive Development
Group.This collection of
short stories was
compiled by the Gender and Disability Inclusive Development Group of the GRID Network of the SEEPD Program for
the 16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence in 2017. We choose
16 Stories to represent the wide range of responses that women and girls
with disabilities, and their allies and advocates, have shown in
the face of difficult situations. These
are difficult stories
to read because of the brutality
and violence contained within them – but they are also stories of compassion,
strength, resilience and hope for improvement. Each story is about a girl or a
woman with disability, who has
overcome violence in
some way. The
names are fictitious; we have not
identified the woman or girl unless she has expressly given her permission to
be identified. Our goal is to show that women and girls with disabilities have difficult
situations, yet they
keep going with optimism and courage. We hope the
stories will inspire other women and girls to live their best lives, to reach
out to support others
and to show
that we are not
alone in efforts to overcome
gender based violence. We hope that you read them and use them in your own work.
Let us know if you have any feedback. Contact
the GRID Network at nwrcommunitiesofpractic@gmail.com/mbibeh16@yahoo.com
Lynn
Cockburn
Tags
Culture